I am a Leader.

have been meaning to type something earlier than this, but too many things have caught up with me and kept my mind off the computer for about 4 days. Or i have caught up with them. It's hard to focus when i'm busy, and tired, and drained, and animated, and pensive, and dull.
i don't mean focus on God, i mean focus on anything. like being so many things in one moment-
its like a disease.
the most fun i had was yesterday night. at chompchomp with them people. so thank you and you and you and you. other than that.. life's pretty much cluttered by training, by crawling up and down slimy staircases. ( my church youth were karang guni for the weekend, knocking on doors and begging them for their refuse. junk. whatchamacallit. i thought only famous people had precious trash. i thought wrong. )
sometimes i dont wanna care about anything about the phone calls or the messages or the big people or the clothes or the travelling or the office or the reverse hits or the doors. but that's irresponsible. and that's BAD. and i pick up all the little broken pieces, and the leftover crumbs, and bendover backwards to pull everything back into me again (including my mind.soul) with the word RESPONSIBILITY flashing over my head like a chopper sign pulling at my neck, and the weight accumulates like trash from the different floors and it all falls on top of me.
and i drown.

but that's bad too. i dont drown. im not supposed to. i am above the flood, because God is with me. i am not delusional. i just exaggerate.

nothing is as bad as it seems. blogging just blows up everything.

its a happy day, and things are gonna get better.

i am a leader going somewhere,

i just don't know yet.