chase

i'm back from china. but i am reluctant to start describing it because i know i can never finish describing it here, and that mutilates the memory. if u want to know please ask me, and i will talk. piecemeal. what do i miss about china? gerry as my roommate, ahlee's devotion insights, rachel's comforting wisdom, the weather. what do i not miss? the wannabe toilets at Liulu village: two rectangular holes separated by a mud half-wall , chock full of years of accumulated shit, maggots, sulphur-ammonium-suffocating stench, clumps of flies, revolting darkness.
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i do realise though that i have begun to pick up the threads of my life and continue the pattern of weaving. i am picking up the bible again, and beginning to see that they contain seeds of life. i have come to see the journey as gruelling but moulding [after the 6.5 hour trek up on narrow dirt/mud/stone/river path along the slanted slope of the mountainface], a journey i cannot tread alone. i have come to realise my mere foolishness especially at times i feel i am most brilliant, my laughable weakness at times when i feel strong.
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i realise now a need to be interested about people- strangers, acquaintances, instead of remaining cold, because a single word can impact impressions, which influence attitudes, which shape actions and ultimately changes lives.

that means on the third level every sunday morning i should try to take a look at what others around me are doing, talk to them if need be. because that was what jesus was concerned about, people, their souls, his relationships with them.

- in the remotest of places.
in the absence of graces,
i see through the silence -
a lingering trace,
patient and pining,
of a Lover's fervent chase.
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i have been chased, i have fallen,
i am Being,
picked up.