daring to be vulnerable

" two houses stretched apart on a hill"
medium: colour pencil on mounting board

is strength. i am cringing now because my dad just made me fruit juice- celery + apple but more celery than apple, tons more! i asked him how much celery he added he said 'one whole bunch'. no wonder. cos it was turning yellow already so he kindof dumped the whole packet in. celery has that uncanny effect of shooting up your nose and shooting down your throat and all you taste screams CELERYCELERYCELERY. but even though my face is cringing and my throat is shooting my heart is warm and fuzzy because dad rocks. he bought me chocolate this afternoon when he went to the petrol kiosk to top up fuel hahaha i am not saying this cos i'm bribed.


+
wellwell hello exams in 7 days. i'm gonna have to stay really focused this week and cut out whatever's not necessary, like bpf mentioned in the car ride,

'it's about saying no to some things.'
that really resonated with me. got that, buddy. maybe because the 'some' is vague and begs definition. what is the some i have to let go off? not only the things like meetings which i have to go for, but also the things which my clockhands clutch on tightly to, which will hurt in the giving up.

+
1/3rd of the celery pulp to swallow. i swam 28 laps yesterday, love it when the sun is out and the pool is empty. glorious! glittering! water is one of God's best creations i think. then we try to imitate it and come up with newater. the most irritating pool-poolers (like car-pool) are old men, then splashy kids. that time i was in the pool then this 30+ old man said, 'the weather's very good today huh.' i turned and wondered if he was talking to me and gave a weak "huh?" expression and swam off as fast as i could which is quite fast okay. he did look abit surprised la, maybe he mistook me for his wife or something she was somewhere else in the pool. but then, her swimsuit was like pink or something. and mine is a normal black! ok, enough.

+a burdened balance.

a pregnant silence looms larger

exhaling would spoil it-

so she holds her breath.

but soon the rotundness becomes the

belly becomes the barrier

and between both man and wife

cords are severed.

except that one, umbilical,

that holds her still, while her

doubts and discontent wrestle

and kick before her.

yet that one burden has become

her ballast, balancing her against the winds

that blow her backward. against the winds!

she stands perfectly still, windblown and tousled,

pensive and perusing,

skin taut and stretched, like a drum

prepared before a rousing arrival;

she holds her breath

amidst the wash of silence.