I can sit here and throw a pity party for as long as I'd like, or I can say "no regrets. because at one point that was exactly what i wanted." and move on.
what is it like to let go, with no bitterness, no baggage? it would almost seem as though the memories would have to go too. but that's not what release is. i'm so fragmented that catching my reflections through different scenarios in a single day scares me. the PR mode where its all fun and dandy, the excruciating struggle with myself in the quieter hours of the day, the acrid rant against existing circumstances, fomented by discontent. and the reaction to that - the desire to be the heroine, not the victim. to exact peace, not wallow in a puddle of prescribed misery.
GOD! God. How did you get through Gethsemane. What did you cry?
This post is exactly how strongly I was feeling about a situation that I chose to put myself through. Now that I am beginning to not feel this as before I can relive what I went through with myself and know that these words on your post have described a chapter in my life that I have gone through.It does me good to see that I am not the only one who has had these feelings.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
@neverblueagain Thank you for stopping by. (: I'm afraid I only saw your post now, but it is shared moments like these that make writing worth the while. So, thank you.
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