This week at trolley someone shared with me his testimony.
He talked about the need for churches to have a purpose beyond just growing in numbers, and having successful pulpit ministries. Rick Warren wrote purpose-driven church before writing purpose driven life. To him, churches that ground themselves in the foundational disciplines of social justice and charity are reclaiming the influence they have in society. How else can we show love if all we do is talk about it while sitting on pews on a Sunday morning? How do we intend to be relevant to our cities if we do not serve it, and spend our lunch breaks complaining about the government?
He griped about pastors who did not know God, and through their preaching actually distanced people from the truth. I acknowledge that is risky ground, as we are to uphold our leadership in prayer. But he made a distinct point: many Christians have a unquestioning attitude towards the truth. It's like telling our friend... "Uhh, yeah this is a Rolex watch la. I also dunno where my parents got it from... But should be lah. They won't bluff me. Hah? No need to look so closely la you haha."
And because of his doubt or disinterest, presents the watch as a dull lackluster dubious thing.
But what he should be doing is bring the watch to the watch shop and get it checked out. If it is a fake, throw it out! If it is real, believe in it, and understand its worth!
Likewise, Christianity does not afford us the option of being lukewarm about it. By Christianity I mean the way in which God has chosen to reveal himself to us, chiefly through the person of Jesus Christ. Reading Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis today, one point sticks. Many people say, "Jesus was a great moral teacher, but I just don't buy the part where he says he was God." But if anyone meets Jesus of the bible, they would know such statements are patronizing nonsense. Firstly, Jesus forgave the sins of men. He claimed to be God- from God, and with God before creation. Speaking to Jews, that was an enormous claim amounting to, "I am your Creator. Your Yahweh." If he were a normal human being, that would be a preposterous lie. He would have to be either misguided to the point of madness, or a bigoted liar. Yet, none who heard him thought he was insane. They wanted to stone him, especially those whom he preached against, but even the Pharisees did not charge him with insanity.
That leaves us with 2 options: either he is speaking the truth, or else a liar. There is no middle ground called "great moral teacher" that we can sidle into.
(Big love for CS Lewis.) Back to the testimony. He said he'd lost his fiancé to a sudden viral attack. She was 23. After that, he sunk into depression and asked why he deserved to have such a thing happen to him. Weren't there meaner people out there? Why'd God allow it? All he ever wanted in his life was a spouse who would love him as he was. (Honestly, his earnestness in sharing this stunned me. I would never dream of admitting such a vulnerable hope to a stranger.) Besides, she was his best friend. One night, before they got together, he had a sudden thought that sickly as she was, she might not get a chance to be loved before she passed on. He prayed for God to send someone to love her, and got quizzed: why not you? He replied reluctantly "ahh... She's not pretty leh. That guy there suits her, no?" (Again, props for honesty?) But the next day when he saw her again, he found himself bioing her and thinking suddenly that she was attractive, and he never realized it before. "So what do you think now?" God asked him. Eventually he won the girl. Through that whole process, he thought God had planned "the one" for him. How quickly life collapses our delusions.
I asked him how he got over the trauma of it- the mental torture that he did not deserve this. He said that strangely, redemption came in the form of "but I do deserve it." I am not more worthy than anyone on this planet, even the meanest of the lot. If it could happen to them or to anybody, it could happen to me. (Another mental bam here- I'm still wrestling with it. I think the concept of 'deserving' is flawed though. Evil exists in this world because it is fallen, because of the fault that Sin introduced into the system. In a sense humanity is culpable, yet the blame, if any, is corporate and not on any single individual. Things happen not to people who are deserving, they just seem to happen like a jar of marbles violently tossed out on the floor. The messy effects seem to play themselves out with each random bounce strike. Yet wouldn't God protect those he loves from evil?)
The full conversation was too lengthy to be captured here. But he did move on with his life, and find someone new eventually. Life is indeed never neat. There are endings where beginnings were abruptly halted too soon, and beginnings where endings should have (we thought) been final.
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