maiden wild

woooot! havent blogged in a real long while cos ive got restraint! hmm. cos i ve got exams! cos.. i started revising late! (is that restraint?) cos.. there are only two exams left, econs n lit s! (still exams..) cos theres too much to study! (so i dint start late i just ended studying late?)

effective nullification. im going kooky. no 'going' about it, i am kooky.

this has been my life for the past week
study. til 2 am.
sleep.
wake. 5 am.
study.
exam 3 hours.
bus 1 hour.
study. til 2 am.

with slight variations here and there, like sleeping at 3 or examing for two papers a day.
sleep is the abberation.


i had lots of other meaningful stuff to say as i was going about my day. and i thought i would like to blog it down. now im here. and i forget, i forget.

if I fell in love with you/ would you promise to be true/ and help me understand/ 'cause I've been in love before and i've found that love is more

than just holding hands.

if I gave my heart to you/ i must be sure from the very start/ that you would love me more than her

if i trust in you, oh now please don't run and hide, if I love you too, oh please don't hurt my pride like her
cos i couldnt stand the pain/ and i will be sad if our new love was in vain so.

i hope. you'll see/ oh that i would love to love u/ that she will cry when she learns we are two
if i fell n love with u.

maroon five. it sounds really nice. though the words dont make sense, as always.

ah i remember. hurricane katrina, and the filipino maid murder. how could i forget? i dont know which is sadder, there's no telling i think. the maid case, in particular. its like the lit book we're doing now, Heart of Darkness by Conrad. where Kurtz moves over, solitary, to the tangled wilderness in Africa. without any restrictions, any police watchman, any whispering of neighbourly opinion, he gave in to his inner desire to possess. so since the imperialised black peoples thought he was a god, all the excesses of murder, savage torture, beheading, took place so Kurtz could get all the ivory he wanted. and the people in Europe still thought he was magnificent, that eloquent gifted genius, emissary of light and promise to the uncivilised world.

and they were wrong, because he falsified their belief with his wrong.

maybe anyone everyone, has that potential to be consumed by the darkness. so the maid, the maid.. she was just one of them.