just came back from dpf session at edlyn's house, we havent met in two weeks, i havent seen jasmine in two years, and as usual it was refreshing meeting up after a span of dryness. i don't know, work and shop-starting has absorbed much of my time and my attention, and the weirdest thing is i don't feel it abnormal not to be spending adequate time with God each day. like z said, its a make-or-break thing, sometimes, in our moments of folly, it seems so easy just to tell God you're not real -despite all that i've witnessed and experienced- and just walk away. it is so easy just to walk away.
*
great sis just blew up at dad when he said 'why you never call back when you not coming back to eat' and she said 'who says? i'm eating what. what's the big fuss. if im not coming back obviously i'll say right?' explosive edges. i hate such scenes. and mum's sulking cos she cooked a big pot of porridge and said nobodys eating it. well as it turned out all three of us ate dinner so no idea what she's fussing about. sometimes food is such a bane. i mean, come on, it's just porridge. and that's gotten 4/5 of the family blown up. [i'm not blown up, as in angered, but probably one of those scattered pieces of debris that got caught in the explosion.]
Daryl is asleep.
*haiku by somebody
*haiku by me
*amuletrose -
today i read a student's joke: what starts with T, ends with T and has alot of T in it?
answer: Teapot.
hahahahaahah. hmp. despite all my current busyness, i am glad to be with pau and jingli. i am thankful the teachers are all so nice. i am glad they have morning prayers. i am glad they have isaiah 40:31 plastered on the front entrance and the Lord's Supper's painting on the wall. i am glad the children are a healthy mix of the naughty, the intelligent and the mild. and in a contorted way i know i'm meant to be here: the verse: Set me free from my prison, that i may praise your name. has stuck with me for quite some time. right now i feel like my prison is being inarticulate, and teaching has given me so much more to talk for [lessons], so much more to talk about[school], so many more to talk to[students], but it is not the be-all-end-all. praising him is.
* cherie
i think one reason cherie n i have stuck out through so long is that we respect each other's private space, and we trust each other through the silence. we're both low-maintenance friends, in the sense we don't chitchat often. we dont know what we're specific stuff we're doing everyday, but we keep each other in the know whenever there's sth important, we understand each other without having to say much, and there isn't the tension of Always having to sms, Always having to talk on the phone, Always having to hang out just because that's what best friends have to do. these friendship qualifiers are superficial and indicates a lack of trust i think. perhaps silence is the test of a wellworn friendship? because the more secure you feel with another person the more you know that temporary absences don't change relationships.
*grappling with silence. just shut it.
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