whistle. havent been blogging for a real long time. now that i'm here, ive no idea why i want to blog in the first place. the only thing i know is life is moving way.too.fast. for me. my whole year is plotted. like on a best-fit curve. trainings, term essays, march hols hockey camp, common tests, competition season, studystudystudy, prelims, a-levels, december. but things don't fit. they don't cling onto a curve the way they are supposed to. there are too many things tugging at the pieces that make them fall apart. things like church commitments. like family disturbance. like belonging. like different groups of friends. like rest.
i'm not a machine. i am generally happy but general is a leaking roof. i dont talk much sense nowadays. i dont talk. went out with erica n siew today. siew's bday on sometime this week. urgh i forget, i forget. she was unusually quiet. it was an awkward outing. but erica's fun. funky. spicy. :D here's the opportunity cost list of going out with them today:
1. drama feste
2. kenneth copeland
3. weights
4. rest
5. study
very heavy cost. especially the first two. im on for the prayer roster this saturday. o god, god, please flow in me. im like a gnarled root and the weight of the leaves n branches are weighing heavily, and the soil is drying to crust. the bark is beginning to peel, and im aching, cracking, crunching under burdens. hand them to you. that's all matters. YOU are the vine. undeceive me.
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