i'm not.

sorry i've been obstructing your word Lord!
God's always speaking, its up to me to listen.
i was just reminded of this on sat worship. its often the simplest truths that i miss out sometimes, though it just slaps me point blank in my face.

"how can you say you're alone, and that you're weak, when I have looked over every corner of your life, when I have watched over every detail of your life and lifted you in my hands? I am the one who sustains you, and I have got all your corners, your fragile pieces covered."

"I will wipe away every frown on your brow,
I will wipe away every tear on your face,
and I will put my Spirit in you."

"Not a spirit of timidity, but of love, power and self-control!"

"you asked to experience my love, I will love you to overwhelming."
--
i understood what he meant this morning, when i just teared on our way to joshua's house. i cant explain fully what i was feeling then, a strange heated mixture of convoluted emotions. i felt really stretched out, by the fund raising, the sewing, baking, typing, reading, learning, the DOING, the cell-leading, the difficult cell member, the constant expectations i'm bombarded with.

sometimes when trying to juggle too many things, it may be better just to let the balls fall.
into God's hands.

so now im just gonna leave it to God. His sheep. his will. his conviction. his dai ji. i'm just gonna rest in Him, cos His yoke is light! apart from Him nothing really matters.
i'm not alone, i'm not defeated, i'm not destroyed.